Exhausted, guilty, and trying to juggle it all? You’re not alone.
Returning to work after maternity leave is one of the hardest transitions a mother faces. The emotional, physical, and logistical challenges can be overwhelming, but with the right strategies and support, it’s possible to find balance.
You are likely feeling torn between your career and motherhood, and research shows that how you feel about yourself – whether you feel that you can manage or are overwhelmed – plays a significant role in your success and productivity at work (Source 1). That’s why I wrote this article: to go through the practical details so that you will feel prepared for this transition.
I know this firsthand. I’ve now gone back to work after maternity leave three times, in three different jobs. Each experience was different, but the common thread was the mix of emotions—excitement, guilt, exhaustion, and a deep desire to find my footing and purpose in both work and motherhood.
In 2021 after baby #2, I even got bird poop on my head while walking to work on my first day back. Good luck, right? But even with a clean slate (and clean hair), the transition was never easy.
Each job came with unique challenges: different company policies, varying levels of support, and different personal constraints and expectations. Through trial, error, and a lot of self-reflection, I’ve learned what truly makes a difference in easing the transition.
Practical Tips for Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Conflicted
Even if you’re excited to be back in the office, leaving your baby can be emotionally complex. It’s okay to feel both relief and sadness. You also may be feeling a sense of loss that you will miss their “firsts.” This can be incredibly overwhelming.
What you can do
– Acknowledge your emotions, don’t suppress them
Feeling torn doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you care.
– Talk to other moms
Ideally ones who have been through this transition or who are going through it now. Find someone you can be completely honest with and let them in. Shared experiences can be incredibly reassuring.
– Seek professional guidance
If you are feeling unable to cope with your emotions a therapist or career coach can be a great addition.
– Remind yourself that your emotions don’t define your ability
Feeling conflicted does not mean you aren’t doing well. If you care so much, it probably actually means that you are doing a great job.
– Know that you’re not alone
Most mothers feel some level of emotional struggle when going back to work after maternity leave (Source 2) If you have a partner, lean on them. Don’t push them away, even if you are likely feeling a bit disconnected from your husband after having your baby.
It always helps to communicate, check out our 3 step plan to share the mental load with your partner.
2. Create Boundaries
Without clear boundaries, work can feel like it’s taking over every part of your life. This can lead to burnout and even more guilt.
I found this to be particularly hard, I wanted to get my work done as soon as possible to get home to my baby. I would eat lunch at my desk, pump while sending emails, and never step outside the office during the work day. Before babies, I would take a lunch break everyday, usually exercising, but at least getting some Vitamin D into my body. But not letting myself take a break was not feasible, I only lasted a few weeks before I had to set my boundaries: I started to read while I pumped and made myself step outside for 5 minute breaks each morning and afternoon.
What you can do
– Set clear work hours
And communicate these hours with your team. Don’t check emails during designated family time.
– Ask for what you need
Need a space to pump? A more flexible schedule? Have that conversation with HR. Employers are legally required to provide certain accommodations
Here’s what you need to know for the US, the UK, and Switzerland.
– Learn to say no
If an extra work project will push you over the edge, it’s okay to set limits. You’re still adjusting to being back to work after maternity leave. Remember that communicating ahead of time is always easier than when it’s too late.
From the Start
From birth to back to exercise, this course has everything you need with over 6 hours of learning from 9 postpartum specialists. You will learn about timelines for recovery, foods to help healing, remedies for your body and hair and more. You will enjoy sophrology and yoga nidra to improve your sleep and calm your nerves and you will have access to yoga and exercise classess to get you reconnected to your body and moving again.
3. Be Kind to Yourself
Guilt is a constant companion for many working moms. But remember—taking care of yourself and pursuing your career does not make you a bad mother.
What you can do
– Reframe your thoughts
Instead of “I’m not spending enough time with my baby,” try “I’m showing my child what dedication looks like.”
Remind yourself daily that being a working mother can set a positive example for your child about independence, responsibility, and passion.
– Recognize that adjustment takes time
It’s normal to struggle in the beginning. You’ll find your rhythm. Give yourself grace. As my grandfather would say, “Rome wasn’t built in a day!”
4. Prioritize Self-Care
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing small moments of self-care can make a big difference. You are already consumed by baby and family obligations, so going back to work after maternity leave is another big item to add to your proverbial plate. Making sure that you are sleeping, eating, and exercising is incredibly important. You can’t keep everything afloat if you are unwell, so know that this is not selfish or impossible, but actually critical to the success of everything else.
What you can do
– Start small
Five minutes of deep breathing, a short walk, or enjoying your favorite coffee can be enough to reset.
– Use resources
Find postpartum support resources like our recovery and movement courses designed for busy moms. Even quick, 3-minute exercises can help you feel more like yourself again. And you will learn how to turn these self-care techniques into sustainable habits.
– Make sleep a priority
It may seem impossible with a baby, but even short naps or an early bedtime can improve your energy levels.
For more tips on Sleep, explore The Circle membership where you will have access to sleep coach Alexandra’s 7 tips for Waking Up Refreshed After Multiple Nighttime Wakings. It’s a game changer!
Movement Videos
Emi, our personal trainer teachers you how to do a proper pelvic floor contraction and a compression, so you can start lifting and carrying that infant car seat and protect your recovering abs and pelvic floor!
5. Find Your Community
One of the best things you can do is connect with other working moms who truly understand what you’re going through. The journey back to work after maternity leave is one best taken with support.
What you can do
– Join a support group
Whether online or in-person, having a space to share experiences and ask for advice can be a lifeline.
Need a place to start? We created The Circle—a private group for moms navigating work and parenthood. Join us for judgment-free support, real conversations and continued learning to support you on your journey.
– Find a mentor
If there’s a working mom at your company who already gone back to work after maternity leave, ask for her advice. People love to share their experiences and give a helping hand.
You’re Not Alone in This Journey
Going back to work after maternity leave is tough, but with the right mindset, resources, and support system, it gets easier. You are not just a mother or an employee—you are both, and you are doing an incredible job.
Let’s support each other, share our struggles, and celebrate our wins—because every step forward matters.
Sources
1. Tohme P and Abi-Habib R. Correlates of work productivity and maternal competence after having a baby: the roles of mother-infant bonding and maternal subjective experiences. BMC Women’s Health 2022.
2. Kristin Gallant, The Heart-Shattering Feeling of Going Back to Work After Having a Baby. TIME 2023.
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