A baby’s birth story is usually told through the eyes of the adults who were there: what happened during labor, how the mother experienced it, what the partner remembers, and those first extraordinary moments after birth.
But what about the baby?
Babies arrive with developing sensory and nervous systems already capable of responding to touch, pressure, sound, movement, and stress. Long before they can tell us what they are experiencing, their bodies and behavior communicate for them — through crying, movement, feeding, sleep, and their responses to comfort.
We see this communication throughout the newborn period. Learning to recognize a baby’s cues can help parents begin to understand everything from hunger and overstimulation to changing sleep needs as they develop.
But could a baby’s behavior also tell us something about their experience of birth?
Therese Desorbay
Craniosacral Therapist
This piece was written together with Therese Desorbay.
Craniosacral therapist Therese invites us to consider birth from this less familiar perspective. Drawing on her work with babies and families and ideas from the field of pre- and perinatal psychology, she explores the possibility that some infant behaviors may reflect not only what a baby needs in the present moment, but experiences surrounding birth itself.
The concepts discussed below reflect a therapeutic perspective, and some — particularly the interpretation of specific behaviors as implicit memories of birth — remain areas of scientific debate and research. They are not intended to replace medical assessment. Persistent crying, feeding difficulties, pain, or concerns about a baby’s health or development should always be discussed with an appropriate healthcare professional.
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Birth From a Baby’s Perspective: Why Am I Crying?
By Therese Desorbay
As parents, we all remember the experience of our babies’ births, and each parent has their own story to tell. Often, the focus is on the mother, the events leading up to the birth, and the birth process itself. Partners, too, have their own version, and in the weeks and months following birth, parents’ stories are shared and listened to as the baby is welcomed into life outside the womb.
But often we don’t consider that the baby also has a story to tell, and this may be markedly different from that of their parents. We now know that they have their own experience of birth and their own story; we just have to learn to listen and observe a little differently.
Over the past 50 years, the field of birth psychology has been developing based on studies by researchers and clinicians from many different disciplines suggesting that our time in the womb and our experience of birth are remembered and may have lifelong consequences.
We know babies and young children can’t relate their experiences to us explicitly through language, as cognitively, their brains are still developing. Their experience is held implicitly in their bodies. These experiences are held in the sensations they feel, which are immediate and in the moment.
Hunger or a wet diaper will usually be signaled by crying or restlessness until the sensation is addressed. But what about an experience they may be holding from their birth — where they may have been stuck or in pain?
How do we know, and what do we do?
Firstly, having the awareness and understanding that they might be holding a memory is a good start. Safety, compassion, and empathy, which parents already innately provide, are the best ways of receiving the baby’s story.
However, sometimes this just isn’t enough for an unsettled, colicky baby who is having difficulty feeding, settling, or sleeping.
One way to help parents deal with these issues is by learning how to differentiate their infant’s cries. Karlton Terry, a pre- and perinatal educator, has coined the terms “needs crying” and “memory crying.”
“Needs crying” is when a baby is expressing a present-moment need, such as being hungry, feeling uncomfortable, being overtired, or being overstimulated. When these basic needs are met, the crying usually stops.
“Memory crying” is when the baby is experiencing sensations and images that relate to an earlier experience — for example, during the birth, where the baby became stuck and the experience became overwhelming.
This type of crying is associated with repetitive body movements, such as frantic pushing or paddling of the legs, pulling at the ears, or swiping an area of the head over and over.
These movements are sometimes interpreted as expressing an implicit memory of where the baby became stuck or compressed by a pelvic bone, or where they became disoriented or lost due to anesthesia or a flood of stress hormones.
These are intense moments for them, and they may express rage, panic, and disorientation, often when they are tired or ready to sleep and are no longer distracted by the events of the day.
This type of crying is not as easy to attend to as “needs crying,” which may be resolved with a diaper change or feeding. Recognizing that a memory may be being shared and allowing it to flow is a first step, though we all have a different tolerance for a baby’s crying.
Support from family, community, and healthcare professionals is essential.
Understanding What Your Baby Is Communicating
Whether a baby’s behavior can be linked to a specific memory of birth remains an area of scientific debate. What is clear is that babies communicate long before they have words, and crying, movement, feeding, and sleep are all part of that communication.
For parents faced with a baby who is difficult to settle, feed, or soothe, perhaps the most useful takeaway is a simple one: observe, stay curious, and seek support when something doesn’t feel right.
Sometimes a baby needs food, sleep, comfort, or a clean diaper. Sometimes persistent crying or feeding difficulties warrant assessment by a healthcare professional. Feeding difficulties, for example, can have many possible causes, including issues such as tongue tie, and should not automatically be attributed to a baby’s birth experience.
And sometimes families may choose to explore complementary approaches such as craniosacral therapy alongside appropriate medical care.
The transition from life inside the womb to life outside it is an extraordinary biological process for both mother and baby. From the hormonal changes surrounding birth — including the role of oxytocin — to a newborn’s developing nervous system, there is still much we are learning about those first hours, days, and weeks.
What this perspective offers is another invitation to pay attention: not necessarily to assume we know why a baby is crying, but to recognize that their behavior is communication worth listening to.
Thank you to Therese, craniosacral therapist, for sharing her perspective and experience working with babies and families. If you want to learn more or need help with trying to understand what your baby or child is trying to tell you, you can find Therese here.
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